i can so kill the birds in my neighbourhood. It is not even morning (time check: 430 am), and the birds are already chirping. It makes me feel that another day is here, and I have not even slept yet -_-

1) stop washing her frayed ez-link card

2) go and sleep now, but no, she is a TEAM PLAYER and working her ass off another project

3) count her lucky blessings. A job at a huge international bank has just landed in her mailbox from a HR personnel. Nope, she didn’t apply. And nope, she didn’t take it up cause it is an accounting job and she has her trading job already.

4) repent on her midnight snacks of hot dogs (because i like long things) and kit kat (because I am having a break)

5) K.O after tomorrow’s project meeting.

6) put on makeup for her early birthday celebration tomorrow. But darn, she won’t cause sleep is more important than makeup and she ain’t gonna let those chemicals enter her huge pores.

7) do her work NOW

LINK

Click on the above to get an accurate measure of your current state. This analysis cannot be more accurate.

Name: mrs lim
Date: 3/28/2008
Colorgenics Number: 03721564

You have exaggerated demands on life but you are cautious enough to try to hide these beliefs from the outside world. You are covert enough to try to impress other people around you with your achievements and at the same time able to put on an act of pretending to be ‘humble’ - being the same as everyone else. It would appear, however, that whatever you are doing seems to be working out O.K.

You want what you want and you need all that you want and, as they say in the movies, you are the sort of individual that ‘By hook or by crook’ you will, by fair means or foul, endeavour to get what you are looking for.

You are a demanding egocentric and therefore quick to take offence. This attitude makes people feel somewhat inadequate when in your company and so it is no wonder that at times you feel alone and unwanted.

You pretend that you are a carefree individual and that nothing really bothers you - that you are so self-sufficient that whatever problems beset you they simply flow off you as water flows off a ducks back. You are experiencing considerable stress, trying to conceal yourself from the rest of the world. In actual fact - deep down, you are not at all happy. You feel lonely and you need someone with whom you can ‘Let your hair down’ and share your hopes, dreams and high standards. You are imposing unnecessary self restraint on yourself. You would like to demonstrate the unique quality of your character to all and sundry.

You are moody and depressed at this time but it will pass. All of your hopes and dreams seem to have gone astray and you are fearful of planning further for the future. Disappointment at the non fulfilment of your hopes and the fear that to formulate fresh goals will only lead to further setbacks have resulted in considerable anxiety and you try to escape from this by withdrawing into yourself. But that is not the answer. You have the power to succeed, believe in yourself… all is possible to him who believes.

__________________________________________________________________________
This analysis cannot be more true. I pretend to be carefree and happy, but I know I am not. I am currently feeling incredible lonely. So weird, all the people around me and I feel lonely. If a picture can describe the state of affairs I am in, it would be a pic with everybody happy and laughing and in colour, while a black-and-white me look in from outside the window. Friends-wise, I feel incredibly inadequate in that segment. No one really seems to be there for me when I need them. And the friendships seem to be hi-bye, or HAHA-and-then-a-deep-hollow-feeling, or worse disappearance of friends who practically never existed before.

Who am I trying to kid?

Let me try to find my real friends now.

I am so excited, although my birthday is a week away. The sistas will spend some quality time together by having dinner and catching a movie. The last movie I caught was almost 2-3 months ago.

Finding a good dinner place in the east is proving to be a headache. I want a place accessible by mrt. Which means eastcoast is out. Leaving tampines, simei, pasir ris and maybe bedok available. And then with the 7 percent GST, I start getting stingy and decide that value for money is better, and I don’t want to spend 20+ on my dinner

That leaves very little choices. Most probably I will be tucking into hawker food, or eating ajisen, or mos burger (my fav fastfood) Don’t look down on hawker food, I have not eaten my favourite hokkien mee for almost 4 months! Have not eaten fast food for 2 months. The perils of dieting, you can only eat in moderation. Guess our health minister will be proud of me. I don’t think I have eaten char keow teow in years.

I have been expecting the above (read: menses) for the past 2 weeks. It was terrible to have PMS for 2 weeks. My appetite was ultra good (plus constant cravings for chocs). My period had to come for the sake of weight management. I was also feeling particularly angsty and mean most of the time. .But the mean-ness was relegated to the people I don’t really know. And the bitchiness got worse! I was bitching about people who presented in class, though my friends find my bitchiness hilarious.

” OMG, she caused me a ear-ache. My ears are really painful now. She should stop talking and just stand as a vase, the moment she talk, we know her IQ is below room temperature… OMG, how can she speak singlish in class? Her english sucks!” and major eyerolling while I was msning this during the presentation

On another person presenting
” Did she just pronounce the word execution wrongly?*eyes widened in shock* Her hair is just as oily even during a presentation. I feel like wiping the oil off her face as well.”

You get the idea.

hence I decided to pump pineapples and liang teh to get the menses out asap, as I was grouchy constantly. Girls will know eating these will aid in menses with side effects.

And guess what, the menses came today, accompanied by its best friend. *drum rollllllllllllll* Fucking cramps.

The cramps was so bad, I had to take a nap and basically not do any work at all. Sigh. Karma I know.

It’s 4am and i am still halfway through my group report. Project meeting is in 7 hours time, and I have to finish editing before i send it out. ROAR!

My group has a knack for writing. A 20 pages case study report (which we must give birth in a week) plus presentation, turned out to be 20 pages single space, while our classmates produced 1.5 spacing.

needless to say, which one did the Prof like?

Since i have been reading about brand equity for the past 2 hours, my brand equity has improved this semester. Out of 5 modules, 3 of my professors remembered my name, with 1 prof’s status ambiguous. Maybe at the end of consultation, he will remember my name. Out of the 3 professors that remembered my name, 1 of them really liked me (class’s pet), and the other one remembered me cause my name resembles a famous chinese celebrity.

Ok, back to this current report. We are supposed to produce 30 pages 1.5 spacing, but i think we have gone way over. We may need to have 30 pages single spacing. And to further sweeten the deal of this report, we will attach a picture of our group with the professor. Now that’s what I call strategy.

Many intriguing questions on my brain. I need to blog it out before I read my stuff (at least i am reading minimal blogs and blogging is mildly productive remember?)

Is virginity over-rated?

Why do guys go for prostitutes?

My friend was asking me whether I will sleep with my Bf, and i answered in the affirmative after a certain time length (maybe 1 year), provided of course that I see him as a worthy partner, most probably to share my lifetime with.

Fair enough, the reason why I am still a virgin is because I do not have a bf before.(insert fat and ugly comments here) If not i am sure i will have rabid sex exercise daily.

The problem is then, if I do not enjoy the sex, will I still continue to have it? Cause apparently wired in the guys’ mind is, after the first time of sex comes regular sex sessions. But maybe this question will be invalid, if I happen to enjoy sex. Some girls enjoy sex too anyway.

Perhaps after losing my virginity, I will not be so guarded to having sex with the next partner. After all you can only lose your virginity once.

Next burning question about prostitutes. Some guy friend (mentioned before in my blog and shall not name to protect the not-so-innocent), went Europe on a business trip and hired a prostitute. He has a gf. I asked him about getting STDs cause it is one thing to enjoy sex and one thing to enjoy stds for a lifetime. He said he only goes for “premium” goods which means virgins.

Next valid question from me. How do you know she is a virgin?

“Oh, there is some blood and she looks like she is in pain.”

I scared him about hymen re-construction and how one can be made “virginal” again, with some simple operation.

So since he has a gf, I naturally asked him whether he is cheating. But of course I phrased it in a way which made him less defensive.

Mrs Lim: So technically you are not cheating (BTW I THINK YOU ARE CHEATING, YOU FUCKER!), because you don’t love the pros emotionally and this is just to satisfy your needs, right?”

Fucker: Yah

Mrs Lim: (to ask frm the gf’s perspective in case his gf want to have a gigolo) So technically if I sleep with a duck to satisfy my own needs, my bf cannot be angry and say I am cheating right?

Fucker: Yah

Mrs Lim: (in my heart: YAH RIGHT!)

I bet he will jump upside down if his gf cheats on him with a gigolo or ONS.

I think i was ready to work on my project at around 9pm. And then i said, let me unwind first, and watch American Idol and played some games.

And then it was 12 midnight. And i was supposed to do some work.

And after some random blog-surfing, my work remains where it remains. And I get enriched with life stories of people I don’t know and won’t ever meet.

And you mean I have procrastinated for 5 fucking hours. God-damn, I am indeed the queen procrastinator. Who the hell can procrastinate on a piece of work for 5 hours?

And now I am blogging here despite my work staring point-blank at me. Like a good friend once wrote, it felt mildly productive to be blogging here when I am supposed to be doing my work.

Sigh, time to start. I shall be productive.

I have no idea what my eyes are seeing

I have been taking a double take after i saw many weird words that doesn’t flow in the sentence. Reason being?

I saw sorry as horny

I saw public international law as pubic international law

I saw ‘luck draw’ as fuck draw

seriously, I need to check my eye sight soon

Guess what? Remember I was whining about eating good food all week during one period in Shanghai due to friends (friend’s friend’s friend’s friend’s friend) who flown in for the F1. Click here to remember my good life then. (heng, didn’t put on weight then). I was complaining about the airkissing, and thought that I will never ever meet up with them again, but guess what? I have to take back my words.

The doc is in Singapore, and hence the whole gang of us will meet up again. Apparently one of them has very atas taste, and I bet I will be going to some atas place to eat or chill out again. The weird thing was that I was telling Mr Shit about this group of people and showed him the picture on facebook, and he recognised one of them to be a music teacher in JC. WOW!

How’s that for a coincidence? Apparently he is quite good in the piano scene. No wonder that atas guy knows so many singapore celebs and goes for the chi-chi charity parties.

It has been 4 months since we have last met! 4 months and more than 10 kgs weight loss, I hope they remember how i look still.

And tomorrow, I will be heading to Zouk with my RA gang. Pity, we have stopped the RA movies we used to watch. I think since RA and porn movies are mostly the same (at least for us, since we are not interested in the story line. Bring on the sex, baby), watching it on the internet (minus the popcorn) seemed a much better alternative.

After a horrible week of tests and presentation, which I screwed 1 test and 1 presentation respectively yesterday and going on to screw another test again in 6 hours time, I NEED TO PARTY!

If only my hit rate of screwing tests is as good as screwing guys. I won’t be complaining then.

PS: I think I found another good male friend, whom I can totally be myself with, eg. laugh loudly, talk loudly.