I feel better. I went to youtube to search through all the clay aiken songs and hearing his voice makes me feel so much happier.

And he is finally releasing his new album.

I am a claymate. hahahhaa

Okay, I am really in a bad mood now. Really bad mood. It only takes a whisker to set me in a fury. Firstly, I am sick of being so committed to so many things. I got my health to worry about and my cough is not getting any better but tuition sessions are all lined up back to back cause they are having their exams or whatever shit. My mother told me to sleep early but then who is going to do my work for me?

I got project work to do and I can’t tell my project members I am not going cause I am sick. Project mates aren’t that understanding especially since we don’t really know each other yet. And I don’t want a bad rep in school about my shoddy work or tardy attitude. Words spread around fast.

I don’t really want to go to a place tmr but because me and my big mouth has promised my friend, I had to cancel tuition because project work cropped up to go to a place where we don’t know the exact location. How nice.

In the end, I shifted my tuition to 8 am tomorrow and it will end at 11 am and then I have to be in sch at 12 noon to sit in for 6 hrs lessons before going to celebrate a birthday of Miss Pooh. And I don’t even like to eat steamboat.

I am really sick of doing things I got to do because I have to and not because I need to.

I am upset at being left alone for the IMF thing. Miss Eloquent wanted to join and me being a friend decided that I should join also. Then I was asked to sent an email on her behalf to the school which resulted in the school calling me. Which resulted in me confirming with the school that I can make it for all 10 days of IMF event. And then she happily inform the school that she has classes on some day (wtf, we have classes every week), and she is out. Leaving me ( who joined this whole IMF thing because she wanted to join ) stranded alone. That’s for being a friend. So I have to smile happily at all the delegates while feeling screwed and upset. But I will do alright. After all I am good at smiling even when I feel like crying. I am missing 3 weeks of one class. That’s about 25% of the school term. I feel depressed thinking about it. And it is not that easy to get out of this mess. Cause I can’t inform the school that I can’t make it anymore. That will be irresponsible and I will feel even more fucked up if the situation goes out of control.

So the moral of the story: I refuse to join any fucking activities that my friends asked me to join. For fuck? In the end, I will be doing it alone. So much for friends.

Ok, what’s the chance of going into this gay forum and reading this guy’s blog for some time which has his pics in them AND then seeing him in real life cause you are related as schoolmates?

Seating less than 2 metres away, it was kinda distracting to hear the other conversations going on when my mind was thinking “omg, who knows his true identity at the table?” and the funny thing was that everybody at that table knows him except me. And I sorta know the most important thing in his life.

I just went for lunch with my ex colleagues. We had crab, fried chicken in salad sauce and many others yummies. Slurp. Anyway the lunch was paid for by my manager. She refused to take my money.

It was pouring when we left the place. As I have to left for school, LAB took an umbrella to shelter me from the office to the bus stop outside. I wanted to linger at the office longer but due to him waiting for me, I had to go off.

On another happy note, I managed to clear my cip hours by doing the imf thing. Huge sacrifice on my side cause I am missing a career talk. Alot of people dropped out except me cause I am humji.

Update: Haiyoh, I totally forgot about the bad makeup part. Ok, my colleagues commented that I look very pale. I guess it is due to my illness cause I look pale to my friend also yesterday. Then today chf said that I am looking green everyday due to my dieting. Hate. Hate. And the worse part is that I am not putting any makeup at all despite knowing how bad I look now. Lazy lah.

That if someone puts that their occupation is gentleman on the passport, the person is a spy.

That a prostitute got sued for not paying tax. And the prostitute got a tax consultant to include whips, handcuffs, stockings as capital allowance ( to claim against income )

I am responding to a comment on what I did to achieve the weight loss.

It sounds alot. 10 kgs. But it doesn’t look so evident when you see me.

I went to a doc to get an appetite suppressant pill. The pill as its name suggest is supposed to make me feel full. A direct consequence will be the fact that I will eat lesser and hence lose weight.

I sure ate much lesser. I cut down significantly now compared to 2 months back. Right now, I can’t even finish half my food. Today’s meal for instance was : 1.5 slice of pizza bread ( good enough for breakfast ), one big chicken bao, one small slice of cake, and some random sweet stuff which my friend got for me from shanghai ( cannot even count a meal ). All the servings are small compared to last time, when I can polish off. My appetite just 3 months ago was

“I ate a plate of fried hokkien mee, 2 chicken wings, 2 satays and 1/2 a plate of wu xiang.”

with the appetite suppressant, I controlled my diet stringently. I ensured that I do not overeat ( I still lapse at times ). When I was doing my internship, I religiously ate fish slice noodles every day. From someone who dislike eating fish, I came a long way and enjoyed eating fish now. I ate lots of fruits when I am hungry. I drink milk like water. And I try to exercise which wasn’t very successful cause I will get my menses/sick/8tuition kids.

I still eat unhealthy food. Like I ate at jerrys. Tiranmisu. Ice cream almost every week. But the key word is control. Like if I overeat one day, I ensure that I will control my diet the next day by eating much lesser. I think controlling your cravings will make you hate dieting so the important things is to enjoy your fave food but at a smaller portion.

I havn’t stepped into a fast food restaurant for 2 over months. I stopped my breakfast of curry puffs everyday. I try to drink plain water and milk instead of cold drinks. But I still take coke at resturants or when I really have a bad case of craving.

My diet which changed significantly will be the amount of fish i eat. I hope I am growing smarter and wiser. As well as the reduced amount of carbohydrates. I still eat my rice and noodles/bread/ breakfast bars. Atkins diet is good for losing weight but it is tough to maintain an atkins diet in S’pore or Asia. The best bet will be to eat in moderation. Atkins is not very good for the health anyway. You over utilise your kidneys and end up with bad breath or body odour.

You heard all the good stuff now I shall talk about the bad stuff.

The pill that I am taking now has side effects. I am lucky that I did not get any side effects but Miss Eloquent who is taking the same pill as me got quite alot of side effects. She has heart pulpitations, constipation, severe loss of appetite ( she can eat a muffin the whole day ), having worse temper and being moody or depressed. Another sec sch friend who took it before us ( which we only knew recently ) had depression.

There are other side effects like insomnia, thirst and what nots. Taking pills is not natural and as long as your stomach shrunk ( like mine ), stop taking it and follow a good diet.

My health got affected by dieting. I fell sick twice in 2 months. That’s once every month and what are the chances? Right now, I am nursing a fever/cold and sore throat. I had sore throat and a bad sore throat for almost 2 weeks the last time.

My menses is screwed. But it was also before I took the pill. I thought I had my menses last week and now I am having it again. And the flows are super little that it is a little freaky. My friend who went on extreme dieting in jc stopped menstruating. So for ladies, a good indication of your health will be your menses.

Having said that, I still believe in exercising. I really hate exercising. But I make myself walk in the park which is something I don’t mind doing compared to running. And walking is therapy for the soul. After this bout of illness, I shall exercise more regularly.

I have friends who are skinny and dieting also. Because they have arms that continued shaking even after they stopped waving their hands for 1 sec. My fat arms shake for 10 secs compared to her. Therefore, unless you are severly overweight, bmi above 25, dieting is a high price to pay for bad health. After I lose enough weight, I am going to ensure that my weight loss remains cause the whole dieting process is too high a price to pay.

Preventing is really better than cure.

Let’s welcome Mr fag to my blog. I finally revealed my blog to him after more than 9 mths. He joins a group of 5 who seeks to protect my identity. Except for chou Miss Pooh who blurbed out once. tsk tsk.

anyway, I received a call from wes the other day. I wanted to call him and chat with him since it has been 4-5 mths since I contacted him. But he beat me to it and called me up for a chat. I have been too busy with my internship and 8 tuition kids to even have a social life and be a friend to my friends. Boy, I suck at friendships.

And to Mr fag, nope, I have not given up on you. Just that I was too busy for my own good. It seemed that I have neglected my friends.

I shall resume contact and let’s go for a movie soon. Hur!

Anyway, I went to ys’ birthday yesterday. I was surprised to see that she invited so little friends and well, I am glad I am one of them. I was the only one which turned out from that group so it seemed pretty weird at times but I make new friends at the party ( things you do when you are alone ) and showed off my plaiting skills. She was glad that I went there and I am glad that I did. Cause despite my discomfort at being alone at the party, I showed up for a friend’s most important day of the year.

It has been 2 months since the weight loss project and here is my report card

Weight loss : 10 kg

Dress size ( according to uk and us size charts ): dropped between 2-4

Dependency on appetite suppressant pill: stopped after 1 month. For the second month, I took about 5 pills

Areas which experienced loss : The Most: Upper body :Breasts, tummy, face
Normal: arms
Least: Lower body:calves, thighs, hips

Areas which experienced gain: self-confidence

A guy schoolmate asked me ” you changing your image this sem ah? Look so demure.”

TEEHEE

Then wang wang also said ” you lost weight and your hair cut makes you so much gentler but you never stop saying your favourite phrase ( which i can’t disclose).”

Then I told him abt the first guy who said I look demure. Wang wang and cuteguy was laughing their heads, toes and fingers off at me.

Then I said ” Okie lah, I look demure cause I haven’t open my mouth yet.”

And they all nodded their heads vigourously in agreement.

Nabeh

I am still adapting to school. That’s bad. I feel so tired after listening to 2 seminars. I got the IMF thing going which caused me ultimate trouble. I sent so many emails to the school that they called me up

Today went to see wang wang and the new dog. Wang wang is damn shit lah. He promised to treat me and cuteguy. In the end, he went home for dinner while I ate with cuteguy. Anyway wang wang noticed my weight loss and asked me how many kilos I have shed. Siao. Of course didn’t tell him at all.

Cuteguy is damn shit. He took half an hour in the toilet to shit. I thought he was having anal sex in the toilet due to the duration.